Twass the first day of Golfmas,
And our tee time was here,
The golf balls were rolling,
All golfers had cheer.
Our group was next up, the ranger gave a call,
I reached in my bag and pulled out my ball.
My friends, all ready as they waited their turn,
They examined my practice swing trying to learn.
I had just tied my golf shoes and put on my hat,
And stepped up to my ball to give it whack.
Then, in my backswing, I heard some loud chatters,
I hacked at the ball and heard the club shatter.
The results of that swing came a really nice breeze,
And with a wicked hard slice my ball sailed at some trees.
The spin of the ball went wildly out of control,
I screamed “FORE” and watched a group roll.
Then what to my painful ears did hear,
My ball hit 5 trees, a skunk and a deer,
I jumped in my golf cart so lively and quick,
Curled up in a ball because that shot made me sick.
Slow as molasses my friends then came,
Laughed at my shot and called me some names,
Now slicer, now hacker, really bad golfer, on duffer, on numskull, on blunder and choker,
To out in the rough to the back in the sticks,
I pulled out my fairway to show them some tricks,
I stepped up to my ball and swung as hard as I could,
The stupid little round thing just hit some more wood.
It bounced all around and shot at my friends,
They hit the ground hard and covered their heads,
I look up ahead to see where I stand,
My buddy pointed behind me at a bunker of sand.
I stepped to the bunker where that shot I did shank,
Not paying attention I stepped on the rake.
I may have started out bad but I'll make it up now,
If I keep my head down I will get there some how.
I swang and I swung until I started to shout,
I suck at this game I can't get this damn ball out!%^$$#@%#%
Then as soon as I was about to quit,
I hit that sweet spot and watched the ball lift,
It flew through the air with perfect flight,
Headed right for the pin, I hit it just right!
The ball hit the green right next to the pin,
and wouldn't you know it, IT DROPPED RIGHT IN!
I smiled and jumped as it went just where I aimed,
Happy Golfmas to all, I love this damn game!
-Written by Andy
And our tee time was here,
The golf balls were rolling,
All golfers had cheer.
Our group was next up, the ranger gave a call,
I reached in my bag and pulled out my ball.
My friends, all ready as they waited their turn,
They examined my practice swing trying to learn.
I had just tied my golf shoes and put on my hat,
And stepped up to my ball to give it whack.
Then, in my backswing, I heard some loud chatters,
I hacked at the ball and heard the club shatter.
The results of that swing came a really nice breeze,
And with a wicked hard slice my ball sailed at some trees.
The spin of the ball went wildly out of control,
I screamed “FORE” and watched a group roll.
Then what to my painful ears did hear,
My ball hit 5 trees, a skunk and a deer,
I jumped in my golf cart so lively and quick,
Curled up in a ball because that shot made me sick.
Slow as molasses my friends then came,
Laughed at my shot and called me some names,
Now slicer, now hacker, really bad golfer, on duffer, on numskull, on blunder and choker,
To out in the rough to the back in the sticks,
I pulled out my fairway to show them some tricks,
I stepped up to my ball and swung as hard as I could,
The stupid little round thing just hit some more wood.
It bounced all around and shot at my friends,
They hit the ground hard and covered their heads,
I look up ahead to see where I stand,
My buddy pointed behind me at a bunker of sand.
I stepped to the bunker where that shot I did shank,
Not paying attention I stepped on the rake.
I may have started out bad but I'll make it up now,
If I keep my head down I will get there some how.
I swang and I swung until I started to shout,
I suck at this game I can't get this damn ball out!%^$$#@%#%
Then as soon as I was about to quit,
I hit that sweet spot and watched the ball lift,
It flew through the air with perfect flight,
Headed right for the pin, I hit it just right!
The ball hit the green right next to the pin,
and wouldn't you know it, IT DROPPED RIGHT IN!
I smiled and jumped as it went just where I aimed,
Happy Golfmas to all, I love this damn game!
-Written by Andy
